Quick Hitter - Active Listening Skills

Media: Elizabeth Cabibi, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, defines active listening –

Quick Hitter - Active Listening Skills

image for Quick Hitter - Active Listening Skills

Image: – Elizabeth Cabibi, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, defines active listening – Macho Spouse

 

Most of us can usually "hear" what our spouses are saying, but do we actually listen to the words and understand what is being communicated?  Active listening skills are important tools to have for successful, happy relationships.  In this new Macho Spouse "Quick Hitter," Elizabeth Cabibi, M.S.,LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) defines active listening and then demonstrates how to practice and administer some good techniques.  Below is a Speaker Listener Technique used by many military marriage retreats.


Taken from the book, "Fighting for your Marriage", this Speaker Listener Technique is utilized by many military installations that sponsor Marriage Retreats and Couples Groups  It is often distributed to attendants on printed magnets, and encouraged for them to practice. The technique is:

Rules for the Speaker:
* speak for yourself, don't mind read.
* Keep statements brief.  Don't go on and on.
* Stop to let the listener paraphrase.

Rules for the Listener:
* Paraphrase what you hear.
* Focus on the speaker's message.  Don't Rebut.

Rules for Both:
* The speaker has the floor.
* Speaker keeps the floor while the listener paraphrases.
* Share the floor.

My suggestion for practicing this in an exercise format would be choose a topic, preferably non inflammatory and positive focused, like ideas for a date night or next vacation.  Utilize the rules of active listening and the technique above and plan something using empathy and understanding!  Practice using different topics and experience how good listening can produce great results.

See also...

image for Thoughts on Command Pt 1

Thoughts on Command Pt 1

TimFamily.jpgFellow male spouse Tim Blake has a new post on his Army Dad Blog, "Thoughts on Command Pt 1."   Army Dad is a blog by Tim Blake, a stay at home dad (sahd) who raises four beautiful children.  He is the proud spouse of an Army Lieutenant Colonel and does his best to keep up with the kids and their activities.  In his free time, he enjoys playing the bass and the occasional bass guitar building project.  You can connect with him on twitter @ArmySpouse007.

TimBlog.jpg

image for How Much to Spend on Christmas Gifts

How Much to Spend on Christmas Gifts

RobSitePic.jpgWhatever your Winter Holiday tradition, now is the time when many cultures have historically livened up the dark days of winter (in the Northern Hemisphere) with celebrations of community, charity, and gift-giving*.  Going into debt, however, should not be a part of your tradition.

How much should you spend on Christmas?


I'm big on using percentages when budgeting.  Except for the really, really poor or really, really rich, it makes sense to me that if Martha gets paid 50% more than George, then Martha can spend 50% more than George.  That generally goes for housing, cars, or Christmas presents. In other words, don't try to “keep up with the Joneses,” especially if you get paid less than the Joneses.  That's the idea behind the 60% Budget: keep regular, monthly expenses down to 60% of your gross income, so you can save 10% each towards retirement, long-term savings, and short-term savings; the last 10% is 'fun money' for Starbucks, beer, wine, pizza, McDonald's, toys, etc. Ideally throughout the year you've saved up enough in your short-term savings to pay for Christmas, even after you've paid for oil changes, shoes for the kids, and a trip to the beach over the summer.

 



 

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