Quick Hitter - Active Listening Skills

Media: Elizabeth Cabibi, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, defines active listening –

Quick Hitter - Active Listening Skills

image for Quick Hitter - Active Listening Skills

Image: – Elizabeth Cabibi, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, defines active listening – Macho Spouse


Most of us can usually "hear" what our spouses are saying, but do we actually listen to the words and understand what is being communicated?  Active listening skills are important tools to have for successful, happy relationships.  In this new Macho Spouse "Quick Hitter," Elizabeth Cabibi, M.S.,LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) defines active listening and then demonstrates how to practice and administer some good techniques.  Below is a Speaker Listener Technique used by many military marriage retreats.

Taken from the book, "Fighting for your Marriage", this Speaker Listener Technique is utilized by many military installations that sponsor Marriage Retreats and Couples Groups  It is often distributed to attendants on printed magnets, and encouraged for them to practice. The technique is:

Rules for the Speaker:
* speak for yourself, don't mind read.
* Keep statements brief.  Don't go on and on.
* Stop to let the listener paraphrase.

Rules for the Listener:
* Paraphrase what you hear.
* Focus on the speaker's message.  Don't Rebut.

Rules for Both:
* The speaker has the floor.
* Speaker keeps the floor while the listener paraphrases.
* Share the floor.

My suggestion for practicing this in an exercise format would be choose a topic, preferably non inflammatory and positive focused, like ideas for a date night or next vacation.  Utilize the rules of active listening and the technique above and plan something using empathy and understanding!  Practice using different topics and experience how good listening can produce great results.

See also...

image for From Breadwinner to Stay-at-Home Dad

From Breadwinner to Stay-at-Home Dad

brodniakfamily.jpgBy Aaron Brodniak

My journey as a military spouse began shortly after the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001. Within a week my wife was recalled into the U.S. Coast Guard and working as a sea marshal boarding ships and performing inspections. At that time, I was the primary breadwinner of the family and had a job as a regional brewer.

Initially my wife's return to active duty was an easy transition since her first duty station didn't require us to move. That soon changed and less than a year later we were assigned to a duty station that led to me leaving my job.

My first challenges were house hunting and trying to figure out what to do with my time. In my adult life I had served in the Coast Guard and then worked in the private sector; this was my first time not having a job outside the house. Since we were expecting our first child, we decided it made more sense financially for me to stay home and finish up my bachelor's degree before my G.I. Bill expired.

image for Marine to SAHD: Milestones

Marine to SAHD: Milestones

AndrewWebPic copy.jpgThis article is a piece of information that has helped me capture milestones for my loved one who is always at work.  I know that it can be difficult so I hope this helps someone down the line.

I know that it has been awhile since I have written anything regarding Twin life but here is why. MILESTONES! The girls are almost one and a half years old now and the milestones have been piling up. From saying their first words to walking and the list continues to grow each day. As a stay at home dad and the love of my life working during the day it is expected that she will miss things in person. This can be depressing for our loved ones but I have found that the smartphone is my best friend when it comes to this. I take pictures and videos constantly so she does not feel like she is missing everything. As male military spouses we have to understand that we are that small percent as our wives are in the military community. We miss out on special time with our wives because they work, and they miss out on milestones and this can be daunting for some. We can use our smartphones for good and show them that we do care and we understand the sacrifices they make. I hope this helps any dad out there having trouble showing their wife that they do love them and understand. This has helped me with my twin girls and my marriage; I just hope it helps someone else out there.


Share on social media

Macho Spouse uses AddThis share buttons so you can easily share your favorite content from this site to your Facebook, Twitter, and more.
To share this on social media, click on the share icons. You will be prompted to connect your social media account if you have not already.
Thank you for sharing!



Got something to say? Sign up or login to participate in the conversation.