Quick Hitter - Mutual Appreciation







Media: Elizabeth Cabibi talks about the importance of sharing mutual appreciation as a way to keep your marriage healthy and strong –

 


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Quick Hitter - Mutual Appreciation

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Image: – Elizabeth Cabibi talks about the importance of sharing mutual appreciation as a way to keep your marriage healthy and strong – Macho Spouse

 

With all the stresses and demands in our daily lives, we sometimes forget about showing appreciation to the ones we love most.  A simple, heart-felt compliment, or "thank you," can go a long way to keeping your marriage healthy and strong.  In this "Quick Hitter" video, Elizabeth Cabibi, M.S.,LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist), talks about the importance of sharing mutual appreciation in any relationship.


Mutual Appreciation

Elizabeth Cabibi, MSLMFT
Founder/Counselor
Collaborative Family Counseling
Navy Spouse/Hawaii

From Elizabeth:

When we begin our relationships, we pay close attention to them. We focus on the positive aspects of the other person. This helps us build a strong foundation for our relationship. We fall in love. We vow to treat that person better than any other person. We make commitments and we begin our lives together.

It's life that becomes complicated. We get jobs. We have financial responsibilities. Children. We move. We have many deployments. The details of marriage become very real. Often, it seems overnight. We begin to focus on:

  • things that are not getting done.
  • Whose responsibility it is to do what.
  • Who is not pulling their weight.
  • What is the quality of our relationship.

The criticisms might begin, or the nagging and often, someone is left feeling unappreciated.

It is easy to get lost in the stress of everyday. And it is easy to forget to recognize the very person that you love. But you can get this back.

One of the ways to start this is called mutual appreciation. This goes beyond the regular complimenting of, "You look nice today." These are genuinely stated and appropriately placed statements that show your significant other that you are paying attention to what they are doing to support your relationship and family, and that you are thinking about them in a positive and affectionate way.

These statements, it is very important that they are not said with any type of sarcasm. So, "Hey, Thanks for taking out the garbage." - isn't really a compliment or appreciation.

They have to not have a "but" or "however" attached to them. For instance, "Thank you for taking out the garbage, but you didn't replace the bag." It needs to be just about the thing you appreciate.

These are things that you want to recognize that they do every single day. These are the things that are important to you and you need to let your spouse know:

  • the garbage being taken out,
  • the food remembered at the grocery store,
  • helping the kids with the homework, making dinner,
  • doing the dishes,
  • mowing the lawn

These are the everyday things we take for granted in our relationships. So, be specific.

"I appreciate that you take out the garbage every week and make sure it's on the curb for the garbage men to pick up. This way, I don't have to do it and it helps keep our house clean."

It's truly felt and the other person will feel it.

Do this throughout your week and different topics that you truly feel appreciative for. Do it today! Don't wait.

What do you appreciate about your significant other?

 

Summary:

Mutual Appreciation

  • Don't get "Lost"
  • Remember to recognize you significant other
  • Find your love
  • Find your mutual appreciation
  • Go beyond the norm
  • Pay attention to your family
  • No Sarcasm
  • No Buts!
  • Be Sincere
  • Be Specific
  • Be Truthful
  • Do this often
  • Do this today!

 

For more questions on this subject visit the Collaborative Family Counseling website. If you are in need of more in-depth marital/family counseling, contact Elizabeth Cabibi, MSLMFT at (808) 685-2425.

"Quick Hitters" are short, to the point, videos that address a singular topic and/or question.  Elizabeth Cabibi, owner of Collaborative Family Counseling, donates her time and knowledge through Skype and is available to all spouses via the same technology.

Macho Spouse Needs You! We are a young and growing organization dedicated to helping male military spouses and their families. For more information on how you can support and contribute to Macho Spouse, please contact us through MachoSpouse.com.

 


 


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Three Weeks in a TownePlace Suites by Marriott

When TownePlace Suites reached out and asked if I would be interested in writing a few blog posts about their hotels, I immediately said “yes.” I always enjoy reviewing products and services I've used and appreciate, plus TownePlace offered a few free nights for my efforts.  Pssst…don't tell them, but that really wasn't necessary.

How many of you have ever stayed in one of their hotels? My first experience with a TownePlace Suite was at the Colorado Springs South location near Peterson Air Force Base.  We were preparing to PCS from Peterson to Little Rock and had run into a slight problem selling our first house.  We sold it way too fast!  I know, I know…a great problem to have, but it was still a problem.  We had no place to stay while Dana waited for her official orders to leave and that was expected to take several weeks.  Since it was the start of “PCS season,” rooms were impossible to get on base, plus I was still working my civilian job and relocating to an on-base location would've been very inconvenient.  When Dana brought up the idea of an extended stay hotel, I admit to being pretty skeptical.  We have a dog.  We are clean freaks.  We like our own space.  We need convenience.  Creature comforts such as clean, soft bedding and strong water pressure are a must.  Moving from our house to basically an efficiency apartment was not my idea of comfort!

It didn't take long for us to find TownePlace Suites through a simple internet search; their south location looked good so we felt we should give them a try. Driving up to the property helped put me more at ease since the building and landscaping looked clean and well-kept, so well-kept in fact that before checking in I asked Dana if she was sure these guys welcomed pets. Not only did they welcome our dog Brutus, they actually appeared happy to see him! I immediately got a taste of the staff's friendly professionalism once they allowed us to inspect our room before booking. I guess since we were staying there for a few weeks they wanted to make sure we would be happy with the accommodations. To my surprise the room was bigger than I expected, the king-sized bed looked very clean and firm, the carpets were in great shape, the bathroom passed my cleanliness inspection ( including a water pressure test in the shower), and the kitchenette was complete with microwave, sink, and refrigerator. I didn't take photos, but the ones on their website are accurate.

 


 

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