Being a Military Spouse When You're a Guy

Being a Military Spouse When You're a Guy

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Image: – – Macho Spouse


The deployments and frequent moves of the military lifestyle can put pressure on any marriage. When the wife is the military member and the husband is a civilian, the strain may be greater.

In fact, research shows that the divorce rate for such couples is more than double the divorce rate for couples where the husband is the service member. This may be because military spouse support tends to be geared toward women. Another reason is that men tend to be less likely than women to ask for help.

If you're a male military spouse, it's important to know how to help keep your marriage strong. You can learn what challenges you're likely to face and prepare yourself for them. You can learn to recognize when you need help and how to use the resources available to you. And you can build a support system of other people you can count on.

What to expect when your wife is in the military

Whether you're a former service member or you're new to the military lifestyle, being the male spouse of a service member can take some getting used to. Some of the challenges to prepare for include:

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Being a Military Spouse When You're a Guy

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The Importance of Protecting My Family More Than My Golf Balls

ChrisDanaGolf.jpg“Don't hit it right. Don't hit it right. Take a deep breath…relax…that's it…listen to the birds cheerfully chirping, sounds of a distant lawnmower, a breeze gently moving leaves around the treetops…nice, smooth swing. No need to kill this ball…just hit it off the tee. AND DON'T HIT IT RIGHT!”

As I stand on the 14th tee box at the L'auberge Casino Resort golf course, I look down at my dirty, dinged-up golf ball and realize I'm griping my old 3-wood way too tight. I had to take a step back, re-focus my brain. How did I get to this moment? Well, I guess I had USAA to thank since they're the ones who helped my wife and I get out of town for a much needed break. But how did I get here, here on the 14th tee box with only one ball left in my bag? Was it my braggadocios attitude on hole two where I thought it would be fun to tee off over the water? (lost one ball) How about the long, beautiful par four, fifth fairway where I pulled two balls into the creek. And then again on hole six, another two into that same damn creek! (Come on L'auberge, why are all the water hazards to the left of these fairways!?) The par four seventh? Yep, another ball in the water, again to the left. And then we had gorgeous hole number nine, a fairway so picturesque it belongs on the cover of Golf Digest, where I surprisingly didn't hit the ball left into the water, I hit them to my right…into the water. (2 balls)

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How Much to Spend on Christmas Gifts

RobSitePic.jpgWhatever your Winter Holiday tradition, now is the time when many cultures have historically livened up the dark days of winter (in the Northern Hemisphere) with celebrations of community, charity, and gift-giving*.  Going into debt, however, should not be a part of your tradition.

How much should you spend on Christmas?

I'm big on using percentages when budgeting.  Except for the really, really poor or really, really rich, it makes sense to me that if Martha gets paid 50% more than George, then Martha can spend 50% more than George.  That generally goes for housing, cars, or Christmas presents. In other words, don't try to “keep up with the Joneses,” especially if you get paid less than the Joneses.  That's the idea behind the 60% Budget: keep regular, monthly expenses down to 60% of your gross income, so you can save 10% each towards retirement, long-term savings, and short-term savings; the last 10% is 'fun money' for Starbucks, beer, wine, pizza, McDonald's, toys, etc. Ideally throughout the year you've saved up enough in your short-term savings to pay for Christmas, even after you've paid for oil changes, shoes for the kids, and a trip to the beach over the summer.




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