Archive for the 'male spouse' Tag

Categories: 12 items(s) found

Healthy Marriages

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At Macho Spouse, we believe Healthy Marriages positively impact the readiness of the active duty female spouse. If you're asking, "How do I do this?" - develop a healthy marriage - find some answers here.

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Male Spouse 101

Everything you should know about military life as a male military spouse.
Military Spouse Handbooks
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Male Spouse Resources
Military Phonetic Alphabet Military Ranks for Officers and Enlisted - All Service Branches 24-hour clock Acronyms

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Posted in Male Spouse 101

Male Spouse Advocacy

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Male Spouse Blogs

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Male Spouse Education

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Male Spouse Facts

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Male Spouse Health

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Male Spouse Help

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Here are some videos offering help for male military spouses. These videos cover a variety of topics from marriage communication to starting and running a business to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

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Male Spouse Impact

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Male Spouse Military Life

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Male Spouse Resources

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Male Spouse Studies

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Posts: 41 items(s) found

The First Male Military Spouse Day and Scholarship Giveaway

MMSScholarship.jpgThe School of Firearms Technology (SFT) at Sonoran Desert Institute (SDI) and Macho Spouse have announced the first ever Male Military Spouse Day dedicated to the male spouses of America's service members. To celebrate the launch of Male Military Spouse Day, SDI is offering a scholarship opportunity for male military spouses. To be eligible for the scholarship, you must be a member of the MachoSpouse.com community (registration is FREE and all we ask is your email address). This year's debut Male Military Spouse Day will see one spouse within our community win a full-tuition scholarship for the School of Firearms Technology professional Gunsmithing certificate course. The winner will also receive a complete build of an AR-15 rifle, for a total award value of more than $3,000.

SFT created this course specifically to fit within the MyCAA scholarship. However, you do not have to qualify for MyCAA benefits to be eligible for this scholarship opportunity.  Hear from Terry Fields, a male military spouse on this great opportunity in the video above.

Male Military Spouse Day

The first Male Military Spouse Day will be May 7, 2015 in order to honor the lives and struggles of our under-recognized population.
With nearly 190,000 male military spouses globally (per DoD), our large but scattered group faces significant challenges. Stigma and social disconnection complicate common military spouse issues such as underemployment and family stress, leading to a divorce rate nearly three times higher among military-affiliated couples in which the wife is the service member. (Just released stats show this high % of divorce for male military spouses to be dropping, great news, but we still have a lot of work to do!)

The purpose of Male Military Spouse Day will be to raise the public profile of this group in order to facilitate awareness of male military spouse concerns and the development of solutions to preventable problems such as social isolation and educational access. Here's what Macho Spouse founder, Chris Pape, had to say about being a part of Male Military Spouse Day: “Considering that Macho Spouse is the only legitimate resource available to male military spouses, it is a great feeling to be part of an official "Male Military Spouse Day." In fact, given that this is probably the first official Male Military Spouse Day ever, it's even more exciting! Now, throw in the fact that one or our members will be awarded a life-changing opportunity to receive an SDI Gunsmithing scholarship, and this will be one hell of a day!”

Gunsmithing Scholarship Opportunity

SDI's scholarship opportunity offered in conjunction with the first Male Military Spouse Day is intended to showcase the resources that are available to male spouses who have yet to take advantage of their military-sponsored My Career Advancement Accounts (MyCAA) education entitlement. However, the Gunsmithing scholarship recipient does not need MyCAA eligibility to qualify for the award.
The School of Firearms Technology's Gunsmithing certificate course is an introductory class that teaches the knowledge and skills required to obtain an entry-level position as a gunsmith. All coursework is online and accessible from any location. Hardware for the course is shipped to the student as needed.  Graduates of SFT's Gunsmithing course will receive a certificate to present to employers as evidence of their training in the building, maintenance, customization, and legal sale of different types of firearms. Certificates can be used to obtain valid employment as a gunsmith. Many graduates take the course to get more knowledge on an enjoyable hobby or to get started on their own business. With military connections, they have a ready-made customer base.

Follow-Up Information

Macho Spouse and the Sonoran Desert Institute are initiating Male Military Spouse Day and the 2015 scholarship giveaway as a gesture of recognition and solidarity with male military spouses who struggle with economic or family stress. Readers can learn more about Gunsmith training at the online home of SDI's School of Firearms Technology or register as a member of Macho Spouse before the May 7th announcement of the scholarship winner.

About Sonoran Desert Institute: The School of Firearms Technology began in 1921 (that's even older than the NRA!), under the name of the School of Gunsmithing. Since then, it has transformed into an internationally recognized school offering multiple programs, including one of the only Associate of Science in Firearms Technology degrees in the country, some of the nation's best Gunsmithing Certificate programs, and a diverse armorer's programs. The School of Firearms Technology's elite faculty and staff include celebrated military personnel, nearly 75 years' worth of combined higher education experience, nationally recognized firearms experts and more.

4040 Views | 574 Likes | 0 Dislikes | 0 Comments


The State of Macho Spouse & Where I've Been

MSOYMECrop.jpgWell it's been a while since I've contributed any meaningful content to Macho Spouse and I owe everyone an explanation. No, I haven't decided to hang it up and retire…not yet anyway, quite the opposite really. As some of you already know, last February I was named the Armed Forces Insurance Air Force Spouse of Year, as well as, the AETC (Air Education Training Command) level Joan Orr Air Force Spouse of Year. Being recognized by so many people for the work we've done building a resource for male military spouses was incredibly humbling and an absolute honor. What a great way to start the year! However, I wasn't prepared for the amount of effort and time each of those distinctions would demand. The time I normally spent creating videos and/or blog posts for Macho Spouse was dedicated to new speaking engagements, interviews, articles for other websites and publications, and even a chance to author a small portion of, Stories Around the Table, Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life. I had multiple opportunities to speak at many Air Force functions and present Macho Spouse (along with the plight of male military spouses) to the highest levels of civilian and military leadership. Hell, the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs coined me! (To my high school counselor who 26 years ago called me a “flake,” you were wrong...so suck it.) Our message is slowly starting to gain traction and people of influence are listening, we just need to continue pushing forward. Anyway, toss in the fact that my wife deployed in March and I was working a full time job, well, there wasn't much time for anything else.

1256 Views | 73 Likes | 0 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in Macho Spouse

Army Dad Blog by Tim Blake - Army Male Spouse

Army Dad image Army Dad is a blog by Tim Blake (Army Male Spouse). 

From Army Dad:

"I'm a stay at home dad raising four beautiful children. I am the proud spouse of an Army Lieutenant Colonel. I do my best to keep up with the kids and all of their activities. I enjoy playing the bass and the occasional bass guitar building project. You can follow me on twitter if you so desire...@ArmySpouse007."

3281 Views | 126 Likes | 20 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Faithwalk Music blog by Taurus M. James - Air Force Male Spouse

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Faithwalk Music is a blog by Taurus M. James (Air Force Male Spouse).

From Faithwalk Music:

Taurus M. James, Male Military Spouse (US Air Force), Moody Instrumental Musician, Minister, Teacher, Web Developer and IT Specialist with a passion for using the latest Internet technologies to promote individual artistic expression.

"Faithwalk Music" is where you can learn more about Taurus' life, faith, family, music and work.

1219 Views | 40 Likes | 37 Dislikes | 0 Comments


FRG Key Spouse Question

Hey guys, here's a question from fellow male spouse Dave Etter. Anyone have some input?

 
 

Dave Etter to Macho Spouse - Male Military Spouses

OK, gentlemen, different direction on this question: what have your frg/key spouse/ombudsman done to try and get you, the man spouse, to participate? Details and reactions, please....

821 Views | 54 Likes | 30 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Male Military Spouse Resiliency

The Association of the United States Army has a great article that you should check out.

Resiliency: Male military spouse style features Wayne Perry talking about how male military spouses are finding ways to build resilient communities. Macho Spouse is one such community.

1957 Views | 52 Likes | 20 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Male Military Spouses: We Need Your Help!

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According to whatever stats you want to view at any particular time, we as male military spouses are still small in number, relative to the total number of military spouses. You don't have to look far to know that the challenges we face are great. Facing the challanges alone is no fun. That's why we need your help, whether you're just starting out, or you're a 15-year-plus male military spouse veteran.

A few months back, I was looking for a ways to help male spouses and I stumbled upon a Macho Spouse video. I called Chris Pape and asked him how I could help. Using what I know as a web developer and IT consultant, I immediately began working with Chris to develop this website as an online community for male military spouses.

The Macho Spouse website is an online resource, providing valuable information to military spouses, stay-at-home-dads, advocacy groups, corporate organizations and others. MachoSpouse.com is also an online community - allowing spouses to connect and share experiences. Almost daily, we are adding features to the website to allow those of you who sign up as members different ways to contribute to helping another male military spouse.

How?

2453 Views | 72 Likes | 36 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Military Spouse Videos Wanted

video cameraIf you have a desire to help fellow military families, own a video camera of decent quality, and want to get in on the ground-floor of a growing organization, please contact us. We are always creating new content and have opportunities for those who want to contribute while making a difference.  Male or female spouse doesn't matter, but the content should be "guy friendly," or gender neutral.

The videos we want should be fun and informative.  Don't worry about the quality...we'll help any way we can.

This is currently a non-paid opportunity, but as soon as we figure out how to make some dough, all contributors will be eligible for some sort of compensation.  Unless you want to keep providing stuff for free...

If interested, email or message us to get all the details.

2155 Views | 64 Likes | 22 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Rant #1 from The Old Fart

daveblog.jpgWhat is like to be a military male-spouse? I will tell a little bit of my take on it... I am Crazy Dave Etter, also known as Old Fart.  Imagine the surprise of over 200 women in a historically all female attendance annual Army event called "Spouse Appreciation Night" when this 6 foot 300+ guy walks in and makes himself at home...

2948 Views | 91 Likes | 37 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Video - Importance of Communication Part 1 - The Cornerstone of a Healthy Military Marriage

vid_comone.jpgOne of the first things I learned from interviewing male military spouses who have successful marriages is that they all talk with their wives. I'm not referring to common daily small talk, but actual deep communication about their feelings, desires, and fears. The stuff that can make most men squirm; talk of love, dreams, hope, and sometimes about what just happened on the Bachelor are all conversations these guys aren't afraid to tackle. Now don't believe they have their masculinity pounded down to dirt everyday as they run around spreading gossip like 13-year-old girls, because they don't. These guys know that when the time is right, they are tough enough to talk about anything. In fact, not only have their open communication skills made their marriages stronger, but it seems to have made these men more comfortable in their own skin.

This video is the first in a multi-part series on communication that features Scott Stanley, PhD. University of Denver, and male spouses from across the nation sharing insight into why it's important for military families to practice good communication skills.

(Interviews with Scott Stanley, PhD., Patrick Donaldson, Glen Mixon, Francis Guerrero, Bill Keller, and Jeremy Hilton.)

2335 Views | 67 Likes | 35 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Military Spouse Magazine Looking for Male Military Spouse Photos

Another chance for male spouses to be represented. Who has some beer-drinking, wing-eating, game watching pictures to send Military Spouse Magazine?
 
Male Military Spouses: Do you have photos of you interacting with other military spouses? Are you willing to share them so that the content on baseguide can represent all military spouses? Please email them to me at erin@milspouse.com Thank you! - ERin, MSM

2007 Views | 56 Likes | 31 Dislikes | 0 Comments


A Resource Worth Checking Out

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A resource that is worth checking out is SpouseLink.org.  Their media team describes SpouseLink.org as a "free website linking military spouses together through supportive, informative, and inspiring content."  That sounded interesting enough, so we decided to take their website for a little test-drive.  What we found is a clean, easy-to-navigate site that's full of solid information that includes  posts  ranging   from  spouse  careers  and  financial  advice  to   parenting  and  Military  transitions.  SpouseLink.org is actually a product of AAFMAA (American Armed Forces Mutual Aid Association), a non-profit membership association supporting our military community with insurance, financial planning, and survivor assistance for widows and widowers.  Guys, you will notice that their spouse content is a little "feminine heavy."  No worries, we're teaming up with them to help share some of our stuff from this website.  So they are well aware that male spouses exist!

988 Views | 46 Likes | 25 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Man to Man with Jeremy Hilton

vid_manjeremyB.jpgThe 2012 Military Spouse of the Year, Jeremy Hilton is an Air Force male military spouse and advocate for military families and dependents impacted by illness or disability. In this Man-to-Man video, Jeremy shares some great advice and life lessons.  Male military spouses of all age ranges and experience will find some useful information in this interview.  (Length: :07:12)

1873 Views | 1 Likes | 0 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in Videos

Real Life Roland blog by Dee Young - Army Male Spouse

Real Life Roland

I am Roland Burton.....ok, so I'm not "actually" Roland Burton, but if you watch the show "Army Wives", then you are familiar with the lone male military spouse. I've been married to a Soldier since 2006 and that is exactly how I've felt throughout the years. I've only met one other male military spouse during this time, but I have connected with a few wonderful female military spouses over the years that have accepted me with open arms and made the transition from duty station to duty station much easier. We have two beautiful girls and we love the military life. My name is Dee and I am a "Real Life Roland".

 

Visit the Real Life Roland blog

Video - Military Spouse Corporate Career Network (MSCCN) - Career Help Part 1

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This is an oldie, but a goodie video highlighting the impressive work being done at MSCCN (Military Spouse Corporate Career Network) and CASY (Corporate America Supports You).  It's a little long, but we think this is a must-see video for any male military spouse in need of career support. Deb Kloeppel, CEO MSCCN, explains why her organization is male military spouse friendly and offers an opportunity for us guys to create and sit on male spouse specific career advisrory committee at MSCCN.

Interview from: Cory Livingston, Foday Kanu, Jason Bergman, Jeremy Hilton, Chris Pape, and Deb Kloeppel

1131 Views | 1 Likes | 0 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in Organizations

Navy male spouses near San Diego...this is for you!

CALLING ALL MALE SPOUSES! Want to make a difference? Get some free pizza and refreshments? Well Fleet and Family Support Center (FFSC) wants to hear your voice on what programs and activities would best meet your needs and perspectives.

1909 Views | 93 Likes | 38 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in Community

Macho Spouse - The Name

chris-02.jpgAs our organization continues to grow and gains more attention from new people, I've learned that there is some confustion about our name.  In fact, I have been asked multiple times if our name, “Macho Spouse,” represented a sexist, homophobic point of view. My response to those questions is a simple, no.  Actually, the initial response is laughter and surprise with a slight dash of sorrow.  This perception is mostly my fault for not spending enough time explaining the meaning behind our name as we grow, leaving others to define “Macho Spouse” for us.  I chose our name after careful thought, consideration, and research.  I wanted a name that could illustrate our lifestyle while making people smile. I mean, if we can't have a laugh at some of the gender-reversed situations we find ourselves in, then we're taking life too seriously.

Macho Spouse represents a male spouse who has enough self-confidence in his masculinity to cook dinner, clean the house, wash the laundry, and take care of his children while his wife is away in combat.  We don't care what your race, religion, sex, or sexual preference is, if you're a military spouse who lives with honor and commitment to your family, you're a Macho Spouse and are always welcome here.

I appreciate your time and support, please help us by joining our conversation...or buying a shirt!  I hope this helps better explain who we are and what our name symbolizes. Now I must run along and kick something because I just learned my wife is deploying again.



Sincerely,

Chris Pape and the Macho Spouse Team

1289 Views | 120 Likes | 34 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in Blog

Three Weeks in a TownePlace Suites by Marriott

When TownePlace Suites reached out and asked if I would be interested in writing a few blog posts about their hotels, I immediately said “yes.” I always enjoy reviewing products and services I've used and appreciate, plus TownePlace offered a few free nights for my efforts.  Pssst…don't tell them, but that really wasn't necessary.

How many of you have ever stayed in one of their hotels? My first experience with a TownePlace Suite was at the Colorado Springs South location near Peterson Air Force Base.  We were preparing to PCS from Peterson to Little Rock and had run into a slight problem selling our first house.  We sold it way too fast!  I know, I know…a great problem to have, but it was still a problem.  We had no place to stay while Dana waited for her official orders to leave and that was expected to take several weeks.  Since it was the start of “PCS season,” rooms were impossible to get on base, plus I was still working my civilian job and relocating to an on-base location would've been very inconvenient.  When Dana brought up the idea of an extended stay hotel, I admit to being pretty skeptical.  We have a dog.  We are clean freaks.  We like our own space.  We need convenience.  Creature comforts such as clean, soft bedding and strong water pressure are a must.  Moving from our house to basically an efficiency apartment was not my idea of comfort!

It didn't take long for us to find TownePlace Suites through a simple internet search; their south location looked good so we felt we should give them a try. Driving up to the property helped put me more at ease since the building and landscaping looked clean and well-kept, so well-kept in fact that before checking in I asked Dana if she was sure these guys welcomed pets. Not only did they welcome our dog Brutus, they actually appeared happy to see him! I immediately got a taste of the staff's friendly professionalism once they allowed us to inspect our room before booking. I guess since we were staying there for a few weeks they wanted to make sure we would be happy with the accommodations. To my surprise the room was bigger than I expected, the king-sized bed looked very clean and firm, the carpets were in great shape, the bathroom passed my cleanliness inspection ( including a water pressure test in the shower), and the kitchenette was complete with microwave, sink, and refrigerator. I didn't take photos, but the ones on their website are accurate.

1069 Views | 86 Likes | 0 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in Blog

Get in the Game

AMUNewA.jpgBy John Aldrich, AVP, Military Relations at American Military University

Movember, the grass roots movement to raise awareness about men's health issues is nearly complete, and for those of you who are growing a mustache to show support for the cause, I salute you. For those who didn't participate or weren't aware of Movember, there is always next November.

Just like the mustaches of the Men of Movember, male military spouses come in all shapes and sizes. Some are stay-at-home dads, some run businesses from home, and others balance careers outside the home and taking care of the family.

1157 Views | 49 Likes | 37 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Smartphone Use By Parents

PattMSShirt_edited.jpgWe know many of us use smartphones for several hours through the day for either work, study or play.  mrdad.com recently had a blog post about a smartphone study. 

 

Many a parent has turned to a smartphone or tablet during a restaurant outing with children. How does this mobile device use affect parent-child interactions?

1123 Views | 58 Likes | 20 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Marine Veteran/Male Military Spouse - Scentsy? Yep!

AndrewWebPic copy.jpgMarine veteran and male military spouse, Andrew Ferguson, has stepped outside his comfort zone to make a little money.  He is selling Scentsy stuff.  Guys, THIS is the type of creativity, determination, and courage it takes to be a successful business person as a miltiary spouse!  When we asked how this new venture came about, this is what Andrew said:

1642 Views | 61 Likes | 25 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Automotive Careers! Have you thought about it?

PattMSShirt_edited.jpgWe were looking around and found this advice at Mr.Dad.com and thought we would shar with you. It certainly is a career field that is, parden the pun, very mobile.

Let's face it, the best career involving four wheels and an engine block is a race car driver or a big shot engineer. But if you don't have Speed Racer driving skills or a Henry Ford brain, plenty of unique and fun automotive careers are still abound. You just have to know what you're looking for.

1030 Views | 71 Likes | 32 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in Find Work

2015 'Thank You' and Year In Review

malemilitaryspouse_2015_YIRIt's the holiday season and to me that means spending time with family and friends while reflecting on the year that was. How many had a good year? How many of you feel as if you've accomplished, overcome, loved and laughed as much as possible? There have been a few bad years in my life where I just wanted the damn thing to finish so I could start fresh with a clean slate, it's a mindset, but we all know that reality doesn't work that way. I usually judge my life in a similar way as to how we judge football coaches, “what have you done for me lately.” My year was a good one, a net-positive. So congratulations, you get “happy Chris,” or at least “less grumpy and sarcastic Chris.”

The tremendous amount of progress within the male military spouse community is one reason why 2015 was a good year. Guys, we're finally starting to get some recognition. People, businesses, and other organizations are starting to approach us and ask for our input, insight, and yes, our business. Marketers are finally recognizing that we are a demographic worth pursuing; just check out this holiday spot from Toys R Us. (I just bought 4 gift cards for my nieces from them because of this commercial.)

In 2015, Macho Spouse was approached by the Sonoran Desert Institute's School of Firearms Technology to hold the first ever “Male Military Spouse Appreciation Day” where SDI donated a full-tuition scholarship to their popular Gunsmithing certificate course. (Male military spouses are a large demographic for them.) USAA asked for our participation to help raise awareness on the importance of life insurance during “Life Insurance Awareness Month.” Yeah, I didn't know that month existed before this opportunity either, but USAA sure knows that we exist! And Marriott really knocked us off our feet when they offered several nights worth of hotel stays in return for a few reviews on their TownePlace Suites properties. TownePlace Suites made it very clear that they are interested in helping military families who are on the road, from PCSing to family vacations, TownePlace Suites wants our business!  And it's not like this is some shabby hotel chain guys, their rooms are usually very spacious, clean, come with fully equiped kitchens, and hot breakfasts.  I was surprised to learn how many were actuallyl located near military installations, which makes them a great temporary housing option, or vacation get-a-way. In full disclosure, I dispersed their generous offering quietly among those guys who have helped keep Macho Spouse up and running over the last few years. We don't make any money here, so when a top-notch organization such as Marriott offers us some swag, I like to spread it out amongst our volunteers first. If you want access to some of this cool stuff, contact me and be prepared to help build our community. But while I'm speaking of TownePlace Suites, you guys should check them out because they're really showing their appreciation and commitment to our military community! That goes for USAA and Sonoran Desert Institute as well, these organizations aren't just talking about supporting male military spouses, they're actually doing it. So let's not forget to return this generosity in 2016.

While I'm patting others on the back, I can't forget the amazing content NextGen Military Spouse, Military.com/SpouseBuzz, and Military Spouse delivered on behalf of male military spouses in 2015. When I started Macho Spouse in late 2011/early 2012, there was nearly nothing…nothing, written for or about us male military spouses. No blogs, no websites, no Facebook pages, no nothing. Now look at us, male spouses are popping up everywhere! (We've probably had absolutely nothing to do with this trend, but I will take full credit.) So despite terrorism, politics, war, and racial unrest, life hasn't been all bad this year. It's been good enough for me to crack a cold one, light a cigar, sit back and reflect on how far we've come and how many goals are still left to accomplish. Don't worry, I won't be consuming and driving while reflecting, Dana and I have already booked our New Year's Eve room at the San Antonio Riverwalk TownePlace Suites. Happy 2015 everyone, have a safe holiday season!

716 Views | 0 Likes | 0 Dislikes | 1 Comments


Rune of the Apprentice - A Novel Written by a Male Military Spouse

Jamison Stone and wife 2.pngHello male military spouse community! 

My name is Jamison Stone and I am the spouse of Staff Sergeant Rebecca Bainbridge of the United States Army Field Band at Fort Meade, Maryland. Because of her assignment, my wife, and the rest of her company, are on tour and away from their families for over 100 days out of the year.



As you very well know, Military service is hard on families. While I speak more about this topic on my blog, the ongoing struggle is very taxing to both the heart and the mind. Most difficult for me is the sadness and depression of separation during my partner's deployment and training.



Sadly, many Military Families have it far worse off than we do, particularly those with service members actually in harm's way, and especially of course those who make the ultimate sacrifice defending our country. All these women and men who proudly wear the cloth of our nation, and their families, are true heroes.



Female Mil Spouses are very lucky to have a wide network of other military wives to lean on during these difficult times. Sadly, we men, are not as fortunate. Personally, I find it extremely challenging as an Army husband to find a real sense of community. This is particularly emphasized when my wife is away on training or tour.

1555 Views | 69 Likes | 0 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Incoming - Helping New Neighbors

PattMSShirt_edited.jpgHow do you help new neighbors that have just PCS'd into your area, when you hate the area you live in? 

Now I'm not saying I hate my current base, I'm saying I really really don't like the Washington DC, Northern Virgina, Maryland area, also known locally as "The DMV."

989 Views | 67 Likes | 26 Dislikes | 1 Comments


A New Resource for Marine Spouses

USMC Life[[EXLINK_23]] provides a base by base guide for all major Marine Corps bases as well as housing photos, school reports, area information and more.

Posted in Male Spouse 101

How to be a Happy Military Husband

JackL.jpgWait, you're a stay at home dad? How'd you get on base?" said the hairstylist at the exchange when I responded to her question on what I did for the Air Force. This happens a lot when you're a military husband. You'll get salutes from the gate guards, military discounts that only apply to active duty personnel, and maybe if you're really lucky, the start of a chewing out over haircut and shave regulations by a senior enlisted person. Why? Because our wives make up a small part of the force.

1546 Views | 48 Likes | 24 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in Male Spouse 101

Macho Spouse - Male Military Spouses on Facebook

Macho Spouse on Facebook

Macho Spouse is an educational video series and online resource for male military spouses. The Macho Spouse mission is to help male military spouses connect with one another and assure that we are not alone in this military family lifestyle.

2260 Views | 45 Likes | 30 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in Male Spouse 101

New Military Spouse Book Offers Insight From a Few of Us Male Spouses!

Stories-Around-the-Table-cover-Web-210x244.jpg(St. Paul, MN)—Award-winning independent publisher Elva Resa Publishing is pleased to announce the October 2014 release of Stories Around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life, a collection of personal stories from more than forty military family writers, including spouses, parents, children, and service members.  (make sure you check out the list of authors guys...a few of us are represented in this group!)

From poignant to practical, tragic to humorous, these candid conversations shed heartfelt insight on many aspects of military life. Some subjects, such as deployment, reunion, combat injury, post-traumatic stress, and frequent moves, specifically reflect the military lifestyle. Writers also explore topics common to both military and civilian families, including marriage, education, parenting, friendship, faith, finances, depression, infertility, and grief, and how military life influences the experience.

The inspiration for the book came from a phone call Elva Resa author and publisher Karen Pavlicin-Fragnito received from a young military spouse who was facing several military life challenges. “We sent her a variety of books and suggested community resources,” says Pavlicin-Fragnito, a former Marine spouse, “but I really wanted to invite that young woman to my kitchen table, to have lunch or coffee or dessert with a handful of other military spouses who understand her life.”

At a spouse summit sponsored by Military.com in April 2013, Pavlicin-Fragnito spent two days gathered around tables, listening to military spouses recount stories and lessons learned from around the world. Many of those spouses regularly write or talk about their experiences on social media, in published books and columns, at workshops, or on the radio. “I wanted to invite them all to have lunch with that young spouse—and with other military families, new and seasoned—to laugh, cry, lend insight, and tell stories,” she says. “A book seemed like a great venue for a gathering of that scope.” The first person at the summit she invited to the literary table was Stars and Stripes columnist Terri Barnes.

957 Views | 72 Likes | 31 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in Male Spouse 101

2013 MOAA Military Spouse Symposium: The Scoop From Macho Spouse

Chris Pape at MOAA Spouse Symposium2013 MOAA Military Spouse Symposium: The Scoop From Macho Spouse was originaly written for MOAA Spouse Blog: Making it in the MilLife.

When I was asked to participate during this year's MOAA Spouse Symposium, I couldn't refuse. Sure I am insanely busy with work and my travel budget didn't include a 2900 mile trip to Tacoma, but these were the popular kids calling.

I felt like I was in elementary school all over again and the jocks just asked me to play football at recess, no way I would miss this opportunity. (Side note: The jocks did ask me to play football with them in elementary school where I torched Braden Kelly, the most popular kid in school, for an 80 yard touchdown run that day. Great memory.)

Not only would this event be great exposure for Macho Spouse, but it would help give male military spouses some “street cred” while hanging with a great organization at a visible event.

1095 Views | 39 Likes | 42 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Drink, Drank, Drunk: Wading Though Military Life

Daddy-Ian-Beer.jpgThe author, Chris Field, demonstrating some "top-shelf" parenting while at Epcot's Biergarten.

 

There seems to be a common thread running through military sociability: booze. It's the thread that allows you to tie one on just about anytime. It's everywhere. At the Exchange, at the local Class Six…hell, you might even score some free booze from those distributors hosting tasting events throughout the year. Play your cards right, and you could be half in the bag before the sun even goes down.
When I first drive through the gates, there's always the sign telling me how many days it's been since the last alcohol related incident on post. And when that sign 'resets' back to 1, I'm always tempted to check it out: “Uh oh, what did (one of a handful of likely suspects) do now?” Thankfully, I've never triggered it myself. Yet.

2359 Views | 95 Likes | 43 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Making It Through A Deployment

Winegar_2.jpgIf I were to offer any advice to a military spouse either preparing for or experiencing their first deployment, I would tell them four things.

First, turn off the news! As a spouse, naturally, you worry. The media certainly does not help you out. Occasionally, I would watch the news or see internet headlines that just “grab you” to make you read. But, this really is a balancing act. If you have the news on all day, you will end up making yourself sick!

1556 Views | 75 Likes | 38 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Thoughts on Command Pt 1

TimFamily.jpgFellow male spouse Tim Blake has a new post on his Army Dad Blog, "Thoughts on Command Pt 1."   Army Dad is a blog by Tim Blake, a stay at home dad (sahd) who raises four beautiful children.  He is the proud spouse of an Army Lieutenant Colonel and does his best to keep up with the kids and their activities.  In his free time, he enjoys playing the bass and the occasional bass guitar building project.  You can connect with him on twitter @ArmySpouse007.

TimBlog.jpg

992 Views | 80 Likes | 25 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Top 5 Ways to Show Appreciation to Military Spouses

MSShirt.jpgA few weeks ago AT&T contacted me about writing a couple blogs on how best to appreciate a military spouse. Now, since Military Spouse Appreciation Day is on May 9th, I thought this was a great gesture by one of America's largest corporations to ask this question specifically of male spouses. Plus, AT&T offered a couple iPad gift baskets in exchange for my thoughts. The deal is that I have to share one of those iPads with you guys. I felt that offer was a no-brainer, so here you go. My top five ways people can acknowledge the sacrifices military spouses make on behalf of their families and nation. Before I begin, I want to make it clear that the following list is how I want to be appreciated; we're all different and I know other guys have different ideas. That's great! If you add your ideas below this story, I will put your name in a hat for a chance to win one of those AT&T iPad gift baskets (the only disclaimer I'm putting on this is that you must have your entry in before midnight on May 4th.)

One more thing, I feel a little self-conscious writing this because I really don't think anyone needs to appreciate me as a spouse. I'm happy and proud to live this lifestyle without any recognition. Tens of millions of people go to work everyday, many in not such great environments and/or circumstances. I do believe military spouses have it more difficult than most, but we're just doing our part to help make this country great.

2116 Views | 166 Likes | 31 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Acronym Hell - Part 1

Acronym HellA List of Basic Acronyms and Terms for the Rookies - Part 1

Start learning what in the world your wife and her co-workers are talking about today! This is a basic, beginners list of military acronyms (something the military is very fond of creating).

Why Learn?

Let's be honest. You won't make it 6 months without some of this basic communication knowledge.

2302 Views | 98 Likes | 31 Dislikes | 0 Comments


PTSD in the Family

AMUNewA.jpgThe following article on PTSD was written by American Military University faculty member, Craig Gilman.

June is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Awareness Month. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) states that “PTSD affects about 7.7 million American adults, but it can occur at any age, including childhood. Women are more likely to develop PTSD than men, and there is some evidence that susceptibility to the disorder may run in families.”

Male spouses should note that statistics indicate their female spouses are more likely to develop PTSD than men. All parents should realize that children are susceptible, as well. Visit the NIMH PTSD site for a comprehensive overview of the causes, symptoms, treatments and tips for living with PTSD. If you suspect a loved one might suffer from PTSD, professional diagnosis and counseling should be strongly pursued.   

1135 Views | 105 Likes | 29 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Be Careful What You Post

NewsKid.jpgWe found this article written at the Fort Belvoir newspaper and decided to share as we feel this is a very important issue.

Last month's headlines proved that servicemembers are expected to behave on duty, off duty, in uniform and out, and even on social media.

First, there was the Facebook photo of an airman tongue-kissing a Prisoner of War-Missing in Action symbol, reported by the Army Times Feb. 14.

Then, there was the photo of Soldiers acting silly next to a casket, posted by a Wisconsin National Guardsman on an honors detail and the Intagram “selfie” of a Fort Carson, Colo., Soldier hiding in her car to avoid saluting the flag during retreat (reported by the Army Times Feb. 18 and Feb. 25, respectively).

Those servicemembers are facing investigations because their posts violated the Uniform Code of Military Justice.

1455 Views | 89 Likes | 15 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in News

Being a Military Spouse When You're a Guy

The deployments and frequent moves of the military lifestyle can put pressure on any marriage. When the wife is the military member and the husband is a civilian, the strain may be greater.

In fact, research shows that the divorce rate for such couples is more than double the divorce rate for couples where the husband is the service member. This may be because military spouse support tends to be geared toward women. Another reason is that men tend to be less likely than women to ask for help.

If you're a male military spouse, it's important to know how to help keep your marriage strong. You can learn what challenges you're likely to face and prepare yourself for them. You can learn to recognize when you need help and how to use the resources available to you. And you can build a support system of other people you can count on.

3355 Views | 133 Likes | 37 Dislikes | 0 Comments


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Jeremy Hilton: U.S. Military’s First Male Spouse of the Year

Military Spouse Magazine honored the dad for his stay-at-home work with disabled daughter.

When Deanie Dempsey, whose husband is the chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, took the stage at the Marine Barracks Washington earlier this month to announce 2012's “Military Spouse of the Year,” she fumbled for her words. There were six nominees—five women and one man—and Dempsey clearly had trouble finding the appropriate gender-neutral pronoun, in order to not blow the identity of the winner. Finally, she gave up. “I have confidence that he will do his fellow spouses proud,” she said. The room collectively gasped.

1817 Views | 64 Likes | 35 Dislikes | 0 Comments


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Macho Spouse at the 2013 Military.com Spouse Summit

Macho Spouse and Chris Pape are mentioned in Alice Swan's article, Tuning in to the Military Spouse Network, in which Alice covers lessons she learned at the 2013 Military.com Spouse Summit (April 11-12, 2013). Here is what Alice wrote:

Build a service out of your unique experience and skill: A great example is Chris Pape, male military spouse and founder of Macho Spouse (http://malemilspouse.com/). Chris was kind enough to talk with me about how he started Macho Spouse.  Living in Columbia, SC, while his spouse is working on an ROTC assignment, Chris said he began to feel pretty isolated. He thought he was the only guy spouse out there looking for information and help. About two years ago, Chris began researching male military spouses on the web but found only two articles about guys manning the home fronts. One of the stories was written by Amy Bushatz who you may remember from my Spouse Summit blog: http://www.dcmilitaryfamlife.com/profiles/blogs/you-are-not-alone.

Chris emailed Amy, who helped introduce him to Wayne Perry, founder of Manning the Home front (http://www.dcmilitaryfamlife.com/profiles/blogs/the-outlook-for-mil...) – it was the Military Spouse network in action.  A video producer for 15 years, Chris had been working in Arkansas for the Department of Education, creating instructional videos before the PCS to Columbia. “I didn't see any information sites out there for guys to help share lessons learned or how to find jobs,” Chris told me, “so I decided to use the skills I'd developed making the educational videos to create learning videos for male military spouses.” Chris's fledgling video series has grown into a full service site for male military spouses to connect, get information on employment, money tips or gain insights through the Male Spouse 101 tutorial.

Facing another PCS soon with his Air Force spouse to San Antonio, Chris is excited about the opportunities the move presents. “I'm building a business I can take with me,” he explained. And while Macho Spouse is his future, Chris feels it can also lead to other opportunities in the present. Chris is confident that the work he's done creating Macho Spouse will lead to video and film production work in Texas.

1270 Views | 124 Likes | 30 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in News

Male Military Spouses Cope With Added Challenges, Expert Says

WASHINGTON, Aug. 3, 2011 – Brian Campbell knew some challenges were in store for him after he left his Navy career to follow his military wife across the country.

But what he didn't count on were the additional challenges brought on not by his status as a military spouse, but by his gender.

1124 Views | 44 Likes | 20 Dislikes | 0 Comments


Posted in News