Archive for the 'depression' Tag

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Depression

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2 months or 60 days or 1,440 hours or 86,400 minutes or 5,184,000 seconds

img-roland-220x130.png  I'm finally over the two month hump and I honestly feel like I've accomplished something! This is the longest that we've been apart since we've been married and the longest I've ever had our daughter by myself. The house, while not quite up to her standards, doesn't exactly look like a tornado's blown through either. I think she has little fairy helpers or something, because I don't know how she managed to work a full day, do our daughter's hair, wash/fold clothes, and still get a decent amount of rest. I helped out a little, but this experience has really shown me how much I hadn't been doing all these years!

I've come to the conclusion that the ability to communicate using various internet resources could possibly be some sort of enemy ploy to drive me crazy! I didn't realize that internet speeds as slow as they have over there still existed. Most of the time, it's just enough to tease you into thinking that you're going to be able to have a decent video chatting session. Other times, it just cuts out for no reason and you're left wondering if everything is ok. And then, there are the days when you don't hear anything at all, not even a quick message to say “I love you”. Those are the worst. Sometimes I wish things were like when my Dad deployed to Desert Storm and all you really had were letters in the mail, video tapes sent back and forth, and the occasional phone call. That way I wouldn't worry as much if I didn't hear from her for a day or two. Technology creates unreal expectations and can sometimes make you forget that it's still a war zone and communication will never be normal.

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I'm not depressed, I just want to be alone!

img-roland-220x130.pngDuring deployment, it is important to recognize the signs and symptoms of depression. According to WebMD, some of the symptoms of depression are:

  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
  • Fatigue and decreased energy
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
  • Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
  • Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
  • Overeating or appetite loss
  • Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
  • Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
  • Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
Now, we also have to understand that there is a difference between simply being sad and depression. There is going to be, in most cases, a period of sadness and change associated with deployment. This is normal. It is not uncommon for people to have some of the symptoms of depression, yet not be suffering from depression.
 

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Man to Man with William McEvoy/Depression

vid_man-william1.jpgThis is the first video in a two-part series featuring Air Force spouse William McEvoy.  William and his wife have been married for over three years, but have been a serious couple for about nine.  Get to know William and learn what created his depression as he speaks openly about a difficult career arc and a strong desire to be a contributing partner within his marriage.  Male military spouses and stay-at-home-dads of all ages and experiences may relate to William's story.

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Man-to-Man with William McEvoy/Beating Depression

vid_man-william2.jpgDepression affects quite a few male military spouses and not everyone handles it the same way, some better than others.  In part two of William McEvoy's Man-to-Man interview, William shares how he has been able to successfully manage his own fight with depression.  We're not saying this is the best way to beat all forms of depression.  His strategy worked for him, it may not work for you.  Either way, this interview is a good place to start for those who feel they may need help.

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SAHD Life: Sad-At-Holidays-Dad - Anxiety, Depression, Loneliness

Holiday Depression"SAHD Life" is a blog segment by male military spouse and stay-at-home-dad, Taurus James - husband for 15 years, father for 7 years, SAHD for 2 years. In this post, Taurus takes a look back at his personal struggles with anxiety, depression and lonliness during the holidays and encourages others to seek help.

When I was a boy, I loved the holidays. I had great anticipation and excitement during Christmas. I loved being with family and friends during Thanksgiving. Food, football (Washington Redskins forever!) and fellowship are what I looked forward to the most.

But then something happened. I didn't know exactly when, but I was definitely a grown-up at the time when I started dreading the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas became the worst times of the year for me. The things I loved about these holidays and anticipated as a boy, I hated as a man and a father.

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Rune of the Apprentice - A Novel Written by a Male Military Spouse

Jamison Stone and wife 2.pngHello male military spouse community! 

My name is Jamison Stone and I am the spouse of Staff Sergeant Rebecca Bainbridge of the United States Army Field Band at Fort Meade, Maryland. Because of her assignment, my wife, and the rest of her company, are on tour and away from their families for over 100 days out of the year.



As you very well know, Military service is hard on families. While I speak more about this topic on my blog, the ongoing struggle is very taxing to both the heart and the mind. Most difficult for me is the sadness and depression of separation during my partner's deployment and training.



Sadly, many Military Families have it far worse off than we do, particularly those with service members actually in harm's way, and especially of course those who make the ultimate sacrifice defending our country. All these women and men who proudly wear the cloth of our nation, and their families, are true heroes.



Female Mil Spouses are very lucky to have a wide network of other military wives to lean on during these difficult times. Sadly, we men, are not as fortunate. Personally, I find it extremely challenging as an Army husband to find a real sense of community. This is particularly emphasized when my wife is away on training or tour.

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New Military Spouse Book Offers Insight From a Few of Us Male Spouses!

Stories-Around-the-Table-cover-Web-210x244.jpg(St. Paul, MN)—Award-winning independent publisher Elva Resa Publishing is pleased to announce the October 2014 release of Stories Around the Table: Laughter, Wisdom, and Strength in Military Life, a collection of personal stories from more than forty military family writers, including spouses, parents, children, and service members.  (make sure you check out the list of authors guys...a few of us are represented in this group!)

From poignant to practical, tragic to humorous, these candid conversations shed heartfelt insight on many aspects of military life. Some subjects, such as deployment, reunion, combat injury, post-traumatic stress, and frequent moves, specifically reflect the military lifestyle. Writers also explore topics common to both military and civilian families, including marriage, education, parenting, friendship, faith, finances, depression, infertility, and grief, and how military life influences the experience.

The inspiration for the book came from a phone call Elva Resa author and publisher Karen Pavlicin-Fragnito received from a young military spouse who was facing several military life challenges. “We sent her a variety of books and suggested community resources,” says Pavlicin-Fragnito, a former Marine spouse, “but I really wanted to invite that young woman to my kitchen table, to have lunch or coffee or dessert with a handful of other military spouses who understand her life.”

At a spouse summit sponsored by Military.com in April 2013, Pavlicin-Fragnito spent two days gathered around tables, listening to military spouses recount stories and lessons learned from around the world. Many of those spouses regularly write or talk about their experiences on social media, in published books and columns, at workshops, or on the radio. “I wanted to invite them all to have lunch with that young spouse—and with other military families, new and seasoned—to laugh, cry, lend insight, and tell stories,” she says. “A book seemed like a great venue for a gathering of that scope.” The first person at the summit she invited to the literary table was Stars and Stripes columnist Terri Barnes.

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Posted in Male Spouse 101

SAHD Life: Are You a Sad-At-Holidays-Dad? - Anxiety, Depression, Loneliness

When I was a boy, I loved the holidays. I had great anticipation and excitement during Christmas. I loved being with family and friends during Thanksgiving. Food, football (Washington Redskins forever!) and fellowship are what I looked forward to the most.

But then something happened. I didn't know exactly when, but I was definitely a grown-up at the time when I started dreading the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas became the worst times of the year for me. The things I loved about these holidays and anticipated as a boy, I hated as a man and a father.

At first, I didn't think anything was wrong. I just thought that I outgrew the hype and hooplah of the holidays. But I was wrong.I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Each year, the holiday season, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, triggered my anxiety, depression and loneliness.

The worst part for me was not recognizing the negative impact all of this was having on my family.I was a "Sad-At-Holidays-Dad" for the first five years of my daughter's life.

Keywords: SAHD, male military spouse, depression, anxiety, loneliness, stress, holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, grief