But then something happened. I didn't know exactly when, but I was definitely a grown-up at the time when I started dreading the holidays. Thanksgiving and Christmas became the worst times of the year for me. The things I loved about these holidays and anticipated as a boy, I hated as a man and a father.
At first, I didn't think anything was wrong. I just thought that I outgrew the hype and hooplah of the holidays. But I was wrong.I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Each year, the holiday season, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, triggered my anxiety, depression and loneliness.
The worst part for me was not recognizing the negative impact all of this was having on my family.I was a "Sad-At-Holidays-Dad" for the first five years of my daughter's life.Keywords: SAHD, male military spouse, depression, anxiety, loneliness, stress, holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, grief