Quick Hitter - Helping Kids Cope with Deployments







Media: Elizabeth Cabibi answers a tough question from an anonymous male military spouse on Helping Kids Cope with Deployments –

 


Like, Comment, Share

Quick Hitter - Helping Kids Cope with Deployments

image for Quick Hitter - Helping Kids Cope with Deployments

Image: – Elizabeth Cabibi answers a tough question from an anonymous male military spouse on Helping Kids Cope with Deployments – Macho Spouse

 

In this "Quick Hitter" video on Helping Kids Cope with Deployments, we have a tough question from an anonymous male military spouse that Elizabeth Cabibi, M.S.,LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) answers.

"What is the best thing to do for a child that won't calm down from missing the parent that is deployed? I tried cuddling him and just being there but didn't really seem to help."


Helping Kids Cope with Deployments
Elizabeth Cabibi, MSLMFT
Founder/Counselor
Collaborative Family Counseling
Navy Spouse/Hawaii

From Elizabeth:

There are many things we can do to assist a child that is coping with the absence of a parent.

Hopefully, a ritual can be setup before the parent is deployed or has to be absent from the home for a long period of time, that helps the child feel safe and comfortable. For instance, a nightly ritual of the parent telling them a bedtime story. So, a video can be made of the parent telling them that story.

But often times, we don't have the luxury of having a length of time to develop these rituals. In that case, objects are very helpful. For instance, a teddy bear, a pillow with a picture of the parent on it or a blanket. These kids of things can be something that the child can hold on to when they're feeling upset about the parent being gone.

It is also important to validate that child's feelings and express your own feelings in those moments. "I understand that you're sad that mommy (or daddy) is not here. I'm sad and I miss them, too." Give them an opportunity to talk about it if they want to or just to express themselves. It's going to take time.

Summary:

Question: "What can I do to calm my 2-year-old who is missing mom while she is deployed? I tried cuddling him ad just being there, but that didn't really help." - Anonymous

  • Establish a ritual - Please don't sacrifice and chickens or pigs. This is NOT religious in nature. Instead, read bedtime stories...or better yet, video your wife reading the bedtime story.
  • No video? No problem. Use an object of some sort, but not just any old object...a stuffed animal would be cool or pillow or a blanket...an object that has some sort of meaning for your child.
  • Validate your child's feelings while sharing your own feelings.
  • Be patient.

 

For more questions on this subject visit the Collaborative Family Counseling website. If you are in need of more in-depth marital/family counseling, contact Elizabeth Cabibi, MSLMFT at (808) 685-2425.

"Quick Hitters" are short, to the point, videos that address a singular topic and/or question.  Elizabeth Cabibi, owner of Collaborative Family Counseling, donates her time and knowledge through Skype and is available to all spouses via the same technology.


 


See also...

image for How will Sequestration affect your military family?

How will Sequestration affect your military family?

Like many military spouses and families, you may want to know how sequestration will impact your military family in detail, but can't seem to get anything more than, "It's a bad idea." You continue to hear about the billions of dollars to be cut from the DoD budget and how that will negatively impact the readiness of our armed forces in general. Yet, what remains unclear to you is the direct impact sequestration will have on your military family.

For example:

Will sequestration impact the CDC and child care? If so, how?

image for SAHD Life: My First Daddy-Daughter Dance

SAHD Life: My First Daddy-Daughter Dance

Father-Daughter Sweetheart Ball - Picture Booth

The YMCA Adventure Guides Father-Daughter Sweetheart Ball was not on my radar until a good friend of mine told me how he takes his daughters each year. I thought, "Cool! You and your girls are really excited about this thing, huh?" When my wife started getting emails about the event, there was no controlling her excitement. She was even talking about renting a car for the night!

Yeah...

In case you didn't know (like me), a daddy-daughter dance allows dad an opportunity to set an example and standard for how his daughter should be treated on a date. It is also an opportunity for dad to build that special bond with his daughter and make special memories.

Okay, based on the description above, I tossed the whole daddy-daughter dance thing out the window because my daughter and dating don't even go together in a sentence. And I can build that special bond with my daughter at the creek - FISHING!

But I thought about the whole thing (I do a lot of thinking) and with my "try-almost-anything-once" attitude, I went all in.

That's right! I went to my first daddy-daughter dance AND I LOVED IT!

 


 

Share on social media

Macho Spouse uses AddThis share buttons so you can easily share your favorite content from this site to your Facebook, Twitter, and more.
To share this on social media, click on the share icons. You will be prompted to connect your social media account if you have not already.
Thank you for sharing!

 

Comments